Are you unhappy? I firmly believe that everyone is this life has a right to be happy! Everyone should be able to look back on this life and be happy with what they did and how they lived it. But there are many people out there that are not happy, not even close. If only those people knew that being happy is a choice that they have to make.
Misery loves company. That’s a term that I didn’t really understand until I decided to take my life into my own hands and really be happy. I detached myself from my miserable friends who dragged me down and who I participated with when it came to complaining, sadness, and worry. Then I made a choice to stop doing that! I no longer wanted to be miserable, I wanted to learn how to be happy, and the first step was really realizing that fact!
Some Steps to Claim Your Right to Be Happy
Don’t Give Misery Company
If you are part of a click that focuses on misery – complaining, worry, anxiety, or any other negative emotion like that then remove yourself from that group. You are never going to be a bright light in that group because misery doesn’t want a bright light, it wants more misery.
I first stopped giving misery my company at work. I worked at a place where complaining was the norm. Really there was only one person there who had something other to talk about other than how much work sucked, and she had no friends because nobody wanted to be positive!
I made a choice to stop hanging out with the crowd if all they were going to do was complain. I didn’t partake in the complaining and I counteracted their complaints with a positive comment or a smile and the back of my head walking away.
Soon no one wanted to talk to me because I wouldn’t join in their complaining, but that didn’t matter – I felt better about myself. I was happy! I didn’t spend my days complaining but rather I spent my days feeling good! And yes, I did become friends with the other positive woman at work, and we had a great time!
After doing this at work I had the strength to do it in other areas of my life. I cut out negative friends who could never see the good in anything. I cut out friends who complained, whined, and spent all of their time in misery. I didn’t lose anything because they didn’t care about my happiness and success, like a true friend should. Instead I gained even more happiness because I was no longer spending my time after work participating in misery!
Do Things That Make You Happy
If you want to be happy then you have to do things that make you happy. I once heard Jack Canfield saying that he only does things that make him happy, and that’s when I decided that it was a pretty good idea.
I started to figure out what I was doing in my life that didn’t make me happy and I soon came up with a pretty good list to work on! It was amazing how much I was sabotaging my happiness. If you don’t know what’s making you unhappy sit down and take the time to really be honest with yourself. You will find your answers if you are honest, and then you can begin to work on them.
One of the things that was making me unhappy was my job. I had spent years trying to figure out what I wanted to do and also spent years doing things that made me unhappy. The first thing I did was decide to do something work-wise that made me happy, and I quickly realized that it was writing. So that’s what I did – I started writing and eventually quit my job.
What makes you happy? Start doing more of it! Start only doing it! If you think you can’t then think of this – there is a couple on a peace tour who sold their house, bought a cheap RV, and have been travelling the United States spreading peace. They don’t have much because they don’t need much, they are joyful because they are doing what makes them happy.
Push Past Your Fears
Growth in life comes from getting over obstacles, and happiness comes from growth and knowing what you want. If you are scared to go after things that will make you happy then you are denying yourself the right to be happy! You are standing still, being the person you are now, and not moving forward in your life.
When you overcome a fear you will find that you will feel stronger and more assured about who you are as a person. This will always cause you to be happy, because the more you know about yourself, the more you know about what really makes you happy.
Surround Yourself with Happiness
Once you know what makes you happy and stop doing what makes you unhappy then you will find that you naturally surround yourself with things that make you happy. This will include everything from people to the TV shows you watch. You will stop letting negative things slip into you life that make you unhappy.
Go out and find people or things that make you happy and make them a part of your permanent life. The more you surround yourself with happiness, the more you will be happy – it’s just common sense.
One way to ramp up your happiness is to be grateful for what you have and for what you see. There are so many things to be grateful in life and once you start finding things to be grateful for you will naturally start to be happy. Gratitude is the opposite of complaining, and being grateful in the opposite of being miserable.
I personally try to feel grateful for every situation in my life – whether seemingly bad or good. I find that always finding something to be grateful for keeps me in a place that allows me to be happy constantly.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Kari Farmer